I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
