remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
