we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
