I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
