Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Randomize
