We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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