please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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