she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
