Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
BRING THE BAGELS
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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