i don't like sucking hair
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
