Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
