I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
