Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
