you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
