Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
