Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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