Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
