This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
