How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
