just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
