Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
