My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
