Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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