I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
