awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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