i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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