That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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