make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
