yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
