Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
