The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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