I wish I could punch you in the face.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
