you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Randomize
