Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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