At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
