I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
