That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
