whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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