worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
