living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
