she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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