my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
