I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
