So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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