you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
