Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
