I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
