make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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