pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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