so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
