Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
